Roll me back 2 years. There I am, I just lost 30 pounds and I'm feeling pretty happy with that. I'm headed to the temple with a sweet young woman... but I've been trying to get pregnant. For two and a half years. I'm tired, I'm ready to turn off the baby factory. The blood each month makes me more and more tired....
I see it again {TMI, I know, but some of you know exactly how that feels}. Another month done, maybe it won't happen. {Sigh}
And then there was one other giant thing on my mind. 1200 square feet of giant-ness. Our home. Here is a giant secret, and one that I'm not proud of. When we bought our home in 2004, we bought it with an interest only loan. EVERYONE did it here. We were a symptom of the crash, but I know we couldn't have afforded it otherwise and after lots of prayer we decided it was right (even if it looked totally wrong on the books). Back to 2 years ago that loan is just about up and I'm floundering trying to find a new situation. -- combine the two loans, do SOMETHING. Nothing is meshing, nothing is working, we might lose our house, stress.
So, fast forward two years.
I have a 17 month yammering bundle of love and I'm the proud new owner of a refinance. Is it the perfect refinance? No. But it's rate is something to drool over. SO happy it's done. I'd love to never talk to our loan guy ever again. Let's just say the first time he messed up our buying price on the loan, and this time he made like 3 pretty decent mistakes. Nothing that couldn't be fixed as I found them.... {sigh}
But, back to me {because life is all about me}, and my patience.
God told me that day in the temple that it would all work out. I actually came home that day and a friend was watching my kids and offered to let me get a couple of things done while she continued to watch them, and then bring them by. I actually got us into another interest only loan (judge if you will, but it allowed us to keep our house)... I knew it was the right thing to do but I still hated it. The blood stopped... for a few days, and I wondered.... what happened.... well, a posistive EPT happened, --that was just implantation bleeding.
And there we were last week, signing our life away into a regular ol' mortgage. And all things will be for our good.
Just hold on. It will work out. What a good lesson for me. I am so grateful to God for guiding us. Even if the path isn't the one we'd always choose. He is with us each step of the way. If only I can be patient with myself to learn patience. That, is truly a feat. :)
4 comments:
OH man. So true. It's fascinating looking back at life, at times when I felt completely HOPELESS. If I could have known where I am today, I could have so much more patiently waited out the storm.
A perfect thing for me to read today. Great post.
Wow, I didn't realize how much we had in common! This post resonated with me a lot. Thanks for the reminder of faith.
Good stuff. Glad the home loan worked out. I know a LOT of people in that spot!!
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