Boys Adrift, how my kids are all different....

I think what I mainly learned from Boys Adrift (which I finished last night, that's right ANOTHER book!) was that each child is different, and as much as our society wants to pretend that boys and girls are just the same they aren't.  They just are not.

I'm really happiest when our schools diversify their learning techniques, or skill levels.

Because EVERY child is different, which is why they EACH have their own parents.

And yes, this is a turn that finger right around from the schools.  It's YOUR job to raise your child.

And mine.  I mean, it's  my job to raise my kids.

I do think my boys need to get outdoors more.  I really need to get on getting them new bikes.  I need to get on Craigslist....

I think healthy competition is good.  As much as Siblings without Rivalry steered me against competition, I think that competition on things that are more quantitative might be good for them.  Or even competition against themselves.  I've been doing that with Conner, us checking his scores each week and seeing if he "beat" them from the last week.  It seems to help.

But, the morale of this story is to read the book, to parent EACH child how they need to be parented and then try your hardest.

Also, don't give them plastic water bottles. :)

Holt the PHONE. I READ A BOOK!

Well, on my trip that never ends (which, has sadly ended) I read a book.

I'm fairly sure you've all read it.

You all loved it.

And I did too.

But I had a few minutes where my eardrum was exploding on the plane to really think about what I'd read.  To really think about why I loved it, and how it changed me.

I think it made me think about how I feel at work sometimes.  I definitely feel like "The Help" at work sometimes.  It's annoying, as I'm there in an entirely professional duty, but they want their juice NOW, and with no ice.  Little do they know all the thoughts about their and their baby's health that swim in my head.

But it was no different for Aibileen.  She was a professional raiser.  She knew how to raise children, and did it with such pi-zazz.  Made me want to be a better child raiser myself!

So, in the end I had two thoughts.

1.  I need to be nicer to everyone.  Be it the waiter, or the nurse, or the person attending me at the store.  I actually pride myself on feeling like we are all on a pretty even level -- all of us, and I am grateful for anything you do for me, be it bag my groceries or check my cervix or wipe my crumbs.  Thank goodness, I didn't have to do it myself.  I think it truly "told" about those women.  How some truly did treat their "help" like family.  I loved the heart warming ones of how they REALLY helped him, and how the help really helped the white women. 

2.  I need to realize that what I am doing IS a job.  Me, teaching P to be good and kind is a job.  I can't, nor do I want to, turn that onto someone else.  I just loved how she loved that age of children.  I do too... but I think all mothers everywhere could take a note from her on this one.

I loved the book, I haven't seen the movie but I hope to.  If you haven't read it I can't recommend it more.  It will catch you in the first page.  It's great.

It sure did make me want to read more.  Next on the docket is Vodnik.

Cancelled

Turns out I get cancelled everywhere I go.  Yesterday, after manicly checking if my flight was delayed, I arrived at the gate, happy to see the plane was just waiting for us. About 50 minutes before we'd board, they come on saying there is a mechanical issue they are looking into & they will let us know.

All the sudden, I get a call from the airline, sayingthe flight is cancelled.

I ran up to the desk, but I should hae immediately called their number. About 5 minutes later they hand out a card with a number on it.  I called, & just missed the last flight out with delta. Yay.

I waited at the desk to find out why I couldn't get on a southwest flight.  They don't share flights with the, but I was welcome to buy a ticket with them & then they would refund my ticket portion, but that would have put me in the hole about 200 bucks....

So, I made my way down to ticketing where I could get a hotel voucher.  I got one for the marriot courtyard... & I wait for their shuttle. There are five of us, & we are slowly becoming friends... especially since we've all been waiting in line forever.

We get to the courtyard, where they tell us that we have yelo vouchers that only discount the room, not pay for it. Grr... we call US Airways & they say the only way to fix it is to go back to the ticket counter.  Extra yay!  So, we take the shuttle BACK to the airport, where they say the rooms are entirely paid for,  after a lot of waiting, we get vouchers for a different hotel.

And we wait for their shuttle.

Anyone seeing a theme?

We also donktget meal vouchers, "we stopped doing that in October."  But, we can file a claim with their customer service department....

so, I am waiting to board the shuttle again.... and I may even get to stand in a few more lines today.  I am excited.

In other news, I may be the world's worst words with friends player in the world.  Same with scramble.  It's been nice to distract me though. I am not sure I would have made this without a cell phone.

Anyone have advie fo what I should have done different, or what I might get with a claim?

Home

While I was at the airport I had a couple of people ask me if I was flying home or flying FROM home... I was kind of caught off guard.

Where is my home.

I mean, I guess my home is in the dessert.  The other day El Presidante told me that it won't be home until we've lived here for a year, and I laughed and asked him where his home was right now... or if he was homeless.  Turns out he's homeless....  OR, maybe he had some philosophical answer like, "I live here, but it's not home yet."

And maybe my 11 year old is right.  Because I was stopped in my tracks.

My parents, while I have been here, have told me that they bought burial plots (yay!).  I've often wondered if Drew or I were to die, where we would be buried... I mean, if we'd been buried in California, that would be unfortunate because we're not headed back there...

Would we buy a plot in AZ after living there such a short time?

I don't know, what do people do?

I think I was just getting to the point where I would've bought my plot in CA... when we moved.

I realize this is a ridiculous blog entry, but do you guys ever think about all this?  Am I crazy?

Ok, I am.  I do know while I haven't had many, a few small pangs of missing home are tugging at my heart strings.  Because home is where my family is... one very tiny whiny, Mr Middle, El Presidante and of course Mr. E.

Because home, is where you (and by you, I mean Drew) are....  anyone know that song by Girls Love Shoes, it used to be on Lowes ads.

Rooms

Just cleaning out my old room at my parents house.  my moms needs the space for "bead storage"... and yes, I am serious.  I don't have much here since I actually only lived here for maybe a year in total (my parents moved right as I was graduating from high school).

It's just funny to see all the things I kept.  I jut found all the letters I wrote to Drew the summer before we got married.  I'm going to have to peruse them at my leisure....  I also have all the letters missionaries wrote me (and they are numerous)... I think those may go right to the trash.

I have a whole binder of wedding invitations and birthday cards.  Makes me wish I would save more things.  California certainly turned me into a thrower-away-er... They were fun to flip through.

I also found an apology note from my high school band director.  Written on bunny stationary.  Honestly, I don't remember the guy apologizing for much... so that may get a place of honor....  Wonder if Drew writes many apology notes?

I should get back to cleaning.... crazy, I can't stop, even when it's not even my house! :)

This ME, SANS Children

Sure, I had a couple of short trips to Arizona when we were in our mess last year, and I kind of gloried in the fact I didn't have kids, but the truth was I was dying inside and a mess and I was driving and interviewing and looking at houses... BLECH.

Let's just say they weren't amazing.

But, as I walked through the airport yesterday, I thought about what the people next to me thought.  Did they think I was some urban traveler (I think the airport is the great unifier, because while there are some people in suits, many people dress down for airplanes) with a big business meeting, when little did I know I was just a mom in disguise as someone who had something better to do.

I mean, in reality, who would I BE without kids.  Although, even as I type this I'm thinking I need to call my boys to make sure they're up and ready to get Mr Middle on the bus.  Please hold....

Huh, they're on task (we've practiced for like a week for them to be self-sufficient, but I still have my doubts)...

Anywho... it's interesting to think what I would be if I never took that leap and married Mr E. my Jr year of college.  Would I be a nurse manager, would I be a practitioner, would I be happier?

I doubt it.

Although, I wouldn't be doing this carnival....


But I digress.  Here I am sans kids.  Bring on the fun!

**Huge props to my friends who are helping out with Princess P while I am gone.  They're pretty much the best.  And condolences to Drew... sorry, but not so sorry. :)  Any of you burglars out there reading this entry... don't think so face, he'll be home in a jiffy pop to thwart your plans to take over the world's largest amount of toys. :)

Security

I just walked through security at PHX... I almost had a panic attack, and not even for my usual flying stuff.  I just suddenly had all the felings of nerves and angst, would I get a job, would our house be the one... it's like they had all just lived there waiting for me to come back.

I remember seeing these red mountains for the first time, & being happy that we were moving to a place with mountains.

And now I am just glad it all worked out, & my life is so very fairy tale now.

I'm leavin' on a jet plane. I will not get a house or a job while I am gone. Take that!  Did I mention I don't have a single child with me either? I know, pick your jaw up, I have great friends, what can I say? :)

Plane

Remember how my motto was (and still is)

God is in charge, don't jump off the plane.

Just saying I might need it today. :)
Just sayin'....

Boy's Adrift: School

I am definitely looking at my two boys with a new "eye" -- just trying to figure out what goes on in their little heads.  It's just like a mystery to me.  Sometimes a scary one. :)

Anyway, the first thing they bring up is school.  How we are pressuring small children to do SO much at school.  Now, I personally get my kids extremely ready for school.  I try to teach them how to be ready for school, rather then hoping that school is ready for them.  Needless to say, it doesn't always work.  Conner, even in 5th grade, had a hard time sitting in his desk, and would just sometimes stand up and jump around.  Uh-huh... he's a winner.

It really did make me wonder what would've happened if I'd held Conner back a year.  He was MORE then academically prepared for Kindergarten when he went, but maybe his body would've been more ready to be still.

It says that a girls brain at 3.5 is the same as a boy's at 5 -- as far as the sitting still and ready to do bookwork type brain skills.  Crazy, no?

They actually talk a LOT about boys only schools, and while I had always thought this seemed kind of fruitless... it makes a good case for it. How those schools can raise gentlemen - and how hard that is to do with boys and girls together.

BUT, I still believe most learning still happens at home.  Sure, my son learned about all the Greek myths at school, but I hope learning to be a gentleman is happening at home.  I think I juts need to focus a little bit more on those skills.

Anyone else have thoughts on boys at school?

A Book for Boys

While reading Boys Adrift I've noticed that as boys age they don't read... they don't do a lot of things, but if my boys were to stop reading it would make me really sad.  They're avid readers, and I hope they keep that trait lifelong.

Then,I started to look at the literature that's out there for older boys, and it's somewhat lacking.  I mean, girls have plenty to read in high school -- boys, not so much.


BUT I just found a new young adult fantasy that seems to fit the bill of what my boys like to read.  In other news, it's also written by my cousin, but I'm excited to peruse it and then hand it back to Conner.  It's described as a " humorous YA urban fantasy, with a twist of horror."  The reviews have been really great, which isn't surprising since this same cousin found it quite amusing me to scare me with toy spiders in my personal youth.  But I digress....

If you're looking for a book for your middle/high school boys maybe this one is for you. 


He also wrote Cavern of Babel which Conner and I both enjoyed, so I think this one will be a good read too!

Preschool Time: Games and Stories

Today I broke out Hi Ho Cherry O with Princess P, and man oh man does that one have a lot of great stuff for preschoolers.  We haven't played it yet, and I'm not 100% sure she's ready for it now.  But, here's a rundown of what your kid gets from that game:

• Eye-hand coordination, I could just SEE her working so hard to get her cherries on their hole or picking them up.  GREAT game with tiny pieces (so not for little ones who still like to stick stuff in their mouths)
• Counting -- only up to 4, so it's something they can do on their own, and while P can count to 4, taking 4 things off her tree was a whole other story
• Taking turns -- one of my favorite things about games.

Anyway, that game is often VERY cheap and a great one for the 3+ age range (P will be 3 in a month).

 

We also broke out the books on tape this past weekend.  She is downstairs LOVING them as I type.  The whole "turn the page when you hear this sound" thing is so great.  I know it's hard to find tape players and all that jazz, but these are one of my favorites ever.  Period.

A Plug

So, the south pretty well hates us, but here's a little study that says maybe they should think twice....
Of course, they won't.  But I love them anyway. Just ask Drew, I'd do a southern accent all day if my family wouldn't break all my bones.
and, I do mean all of them....

Update on Mean Mom

The video game thing is actually helping, I think.

My ban has pretty well electronics.  If they choose a program, that's included in the time.  If Drew and I choose a program it is not included in that time.  Add to that the wii, their DS's and the computer.  They get an hour.

I've actually seen toys and games played with.  It makes me happy.

Did I mention I have a whole room downstairs devoted to playing that didn't get a whole lotta use before?  Besides P, that girl loves to P.  The boys even played Candyland with her last week.  Feel. the. joy.


I love the Boys Adrift book, I think I'm going to read the girls one as soon as I can.

Melissa had asked what I think about the whole hormone thing... and honestly, I think there's something to it.  Water that's been in plastic water bottles for a long time doesn't taste right, and cooking things in plastic doesn't taste right either...

Last year I bought all glass dishes to store our leftovers in, at least if they're going to be microwaved.  I try to make sure that water bottles we use often are BPA free, and I certainly have bought less of the disposable water bottles.
I think about it before I microwave things, mostly about what type of plate it's on, etc.... that's about it.

I think more of it is poor parenting and not giving our kids some motivation, rather then blaming it on environmental things.  I'm sure the environment has had plenty of issues all through time, but the main thing I can change is my own behavior.

Has anyone else read the book, and have thoughts?

Photo Friday: Hot Desert Flowers

Spring break in the desert means BIG fun.  Get excited.
Sadly, I don't have before and after pictures of all the places I've cleaned, that really WOULD be fun. :)

First off, our big SCU Liberation scone fest.  They were SO delicious.  Yumiola. I had always fried them in canola oil, but this time I bit the bullet and paid the big bucks for peanut oil.  Totally worth it.  Look how happy Conner is, you may see a theme here...

The rest of the photos are from the Botanical Gardens that we went to yesterday.  They were lovely.  I took way more pictures then this, I'm not used to close-ups, and I didn't bring my close-up lens.  I'll know better for next time.

There was a butterfly exhibit, they were AMAZING.  All of us loved them!

It's starting to heat up around here.  We're all dreading what's to come!

The butterfly room had lots of varieties.  It was fun to find them all...

Thsese two are particularly rare.  Some might say priceless.  I'd say it depends on the day...

I thought this cactus looked like brains.  I bet my brain is just this prickly if you open it up...

Anyone seeing a theme with someone's VERY happy face....

Sometimes you just feel little....

And look, I was there!

I liked this cactus.  Looks like those little candy buttons you pull off the paper.  I don't think this one would be quite as tasty though....

Love the red mountains around here...

We even saw a few hummingbirds.  Did you know Arizona's the nation's capitol for hummingbirds.  Take that fact to the bank!

Pretty....

Some of the cacti had started to bloom...

The front of the museum has these glass sculptures, I kept trying to figure out WHAT kind of plant looked THAT amazing.  And yes, I am that dumb.

Ooo, and lots of bees. Guess who isn't a fan of bees?  Answer: Anyone at my house under the age of 20.

This was a really cool and tall tree.  AZ has such blue sky, things with orange buds look extra cool!

More butterflies...

Lots of pretty plants.

and one final butterfly.  Not sure she's totally out of cocoon yet.  She sure seems to need the "nest" a lot...

Happy Friday.  I hope you have a great weekend!

An Helpmeet

I'm on call, again, third time this week.  On a brighter note, I earn $2.50/hour to clean my house.
On a less bright note, that's about 30 bucks less then I was hoping to earn.

Part of me started to freak out last night.  I mean, as much as you can SAY that God always watches out for you, takes care of you and all that jazz... sometimes it's hard to live it.

Sometimes I forget.

I'm awfully good at reminding other people.  I know it's true, I've seen it a MILLION times.  I've been pretty cool with it, feeling like I should just enjoy my time at home, but right now we're starting to eat into our savings more then I had hoped to.  Between Drew's tuition we've paid out of pocket, along with the new A/C and all that jazz.  It's been a rough year.

So, I talked to the amazing Lara last night (actually we texted).  We're both good at reminding each other that God puts us where we need to be.  Both of us have jobs that are kind of on and off and we've both had testimonies that god always puts us where we need to be.

Last night she asked me if there was a reason I was at home so much, something I needed to be there for, and have I looked for it.

As I sunk to my knees to figure out my life I wondered what that reason was for.

I still don't know it.  I most often never do.  My kids need me the most, that's the honest truth.

The other truth is that Drew is dealing with a brand new program with a  lot of the ups and downs that go with that, and perhaps he doesn't need the added stress of me being gone a lot on top of what he already has.

Maybe this is my season to be his helpmeet.

And frankly, I'm not all that great about it.  I'm at home, I'm running this house almost entirely on my own.  I'm clearing drains, I'm gardening, I'm disciplining kids, all on my own.  Frankly, he hasn't been home much in the last year.  Besides when I was working like crazy and we were getting ready to move.

Anyway, I need to find my niche right now.  And I need to not be so bitter that he's not pulling his part.  Because, he's not.  He doesn't need to.  I am not insanely busy right now.  That's the truth.

How do you find joy in that niche?  It's not one that I find myself in frequently.  We tend to both pull pretty hard around here...

Thoughts?

Nice to know

Isn't it nice to know that you can enjoy where you are, even though it's so very different.

Stay tuned for loads of pictures from the desert botanical gardens.  Let's just say it's a big difference from the Japenese Tea Gardens... but both are lovely.

And I do like lovely. :)  We are sure enjoying our spring break around here!

Bye-Bye Netflix?

I'm starting to get my heart set on leaving netflix.

And getting amazon prime.

Anyone here have thoughts on that?  I noticed Amazon doesn't have Fineas and Pherb... which would be a downgrade from the younger male sector in our abode.

thoughts?

Seriously.  Thoughts?

Condoms...

The first time I put a condom on was it the Spencer W Kimball Tower.  I wasn't married.

I was a Jr in college.  Thankfully, it was a nursing class (can they revoke your degree for past honor code violations, not that I have one... just wondering).

There was a vast amount of giggling and some good banana eating afterwards.  All of us verginal gals couldn't figure out why the condom was sticky on the outside.  And yes, this is a true story.

Recently, Utah passed a Sex Ed bill.  I'm pretty shocked at it.

Do I think that sex ed should happen in schools?  No, not really.  In a perfect world it would be open and parents would talk freely and often with their kids about keeping their virtue and how virtue is so many more things then just a hymen.  And frankly, kids wouldn't have sex, because everyone's parents would've talked about it and be watching.

Here's how it's all working out in my personal mind.  We will preach abstinence at home.  We preach it, and preach it, and preach it.  We talk about it openly and we notice people who haven't practiced it and what messes they're in (aka, teen mom).  We talk about it early and often.

But, I kind of plan on schools taking that other part.  I figure I don't have to have that awkward moment with the condom and the banana because they're learning it at school.  I hope they take what I say, but if they don't, the school is my safety net.

And if, heaven forbid, they decide to act outside what I would call virtuous, sexually, they remember at LEAST what their teacher taught them.  Because while I consider virtue a high commodity.  I also value health, and not getting pregnant pretty highly also.

I didn't take health class in high school.  I took a class called physiology and she mashed health into it as well.  I don't think we even talked about birth control (anyone, did we?), I do remember the "love is like a fire, don't get burned" speech.  But, the truth is that a fair part of not putting yourself in that position, is having good friends and luck.  If I was in that position, my mom had given me the "if you get pregnant you will give that baby up for adoption and it will be the hardest thing you've ever done" talk.  I had nothing from school.  I think I would've been pretty likely to get pregnant.

Of course, that was a long, long time ago.  I am guessing the old T-birds have ramped up that system a bit since then.

I'm just saying that we need help our kids help themselves, and by only talking abstinence, we are hurting them.  Although, frankly -- it's good for business. :)

P.S.  I guess the issue should be, if schools don't talk about sex ed, do we as parents show our kids how to put condoms on a banana?  How do you work that into an FHE lesson? :)  I don't think my husband could make it through it....

The Saddest Day

Lately, on the endorsement of the amazing Lara I have been reading Boys Adrift.  And boy, oh boy, has it made me re-think boys.  I mean, I've been in the boy business for almost 12 years, and NOW I'm re-thinking it.

Great, just great.

Anyway, the point of today's post (and I'm sure you'll be seeing a lot of boys adrift post, as motivation is a key factory in how I am focusing on them right now) is that I have, prior to now, kind of let them just do whatev's with the wii on Saturday's.  My rule is no wii on school days and we don't allow electrocnics on Sunday so their one day to play it is Saturday (unless school is out).  BUT, after they've played wii, or their DS for 3 hours they get off and they're just insane.  I kind of figured it was just Saturday, but I just didn't know what to do.

I mean, let's step back for a moment -- my kids are insane after playing with something and I just don't know what to do.  Uh huh, I'm a college graduate.

But Mr Sax says that boys should have no more then 40 minutes of gaming on school days (frankly, I don't agree, I still say no gaming on school days) and no more then an hour on weekends.

{lightbulb} -- did anyone else know I was in charge in this house?  I can actually dictate what does and does not happen?  Crazy stuff.

Anyway, new rule is only an hour of "gaming" -- that means computer, or DS or wii.  I have also outlawed all violent games on the wii.  Now, I thought we didn't have any violent games.  I only get "E" ratings, and I don't allow shooting games.  But, it turns out that violence is more then just shooting (yes, I did get my undergrad at the same place Mitt Romney did, fancy that?).  We have Super Smash Brother's Brawl.  Turns out, the entire games about hitting people.  And GUESS WHAT my kids would do after playing that game for an hour.

THEY HIT EACH OTHER?

Whaaat?

What on earth would cause THAT?

{BTW, has anyone ever stopped playing Mario Kart, only to get in their car and actually drive and almost have a surreal experience that if you run off this road you'll actually have problems}

Anyway, back to me.  I instituted this rule on Saturday and we are also in Spring Break, which means the rule is in full force.  That means they have 1 hour of "gaming" (electronic gaming) at their disposal.  I am mainly using the honor system, but I am keeping mental tabs on it too.

There has been weeping, wailing, gnashing of teeth.  We are in the 7th layer of hell with only one hour of gaming.  I am officially the worst mom in the history of the world.

But guess what, I'm seeing improvements.  I sure did on Saturday.  Crazy talk, no?

Honestly, my kids would play wii and DS for 8 hours a day 7 days a week and be perfectly content.  They are that kid.  You may have read about my son's "want" for technology in another blog post.  I worry about them.  They LOVE the tech.

Anyway that's what's going on around here, so if you see their little red swollen eyes and sullen glances you'll know what I'm talking about.  Just know I'm mean, I am very, very mean.  But a little bit happier.

Spring Break Writing

Conner's going to be putting a few tidbits on his blog over Spring Break.  I'd really like to make his blog work for us this summer, and make him a bit more prolific.

He'd love comments.... if you're  a commenter. :)

Xplod Xplodes {don't ask, I don't know why he named it that}

Clarification

I love Arizona so much, I interchange dessert and desert quite frequently.
You'd love it that much too if you lived here.
Luckily, I can have PLENTY of desert, while skimping on the dessert. :)

And, Back to Reality

Sure, my post from Saturday was all sunshine and roses about moving.  But, as I hear about people thinking of quitting their current job and moving I almost go into convulsions.  There is a lot at stake...

1.  Job finding expenses.  On our tax returns it shows that it cost over 3,000 dollars to look for a new job.  That's a lot of last minute plane fare, both for myself and Drew.  Lisencing in a few states, to show that you are serious, hotels, rental cars... the whole nine yards.

2.  Moving.  It was just about 6k for the whole move.  That includes the movers (and frankly, we thought about getting Uhaul, but when you're adults with 3 kids Uhauls just aren't big enough, and even if they were they get to be SO expensive you're not saving enough to really make it worth it), the cost of gas to get here, having a hotel for a few nights.  That doesn't even include all the house selling and buying issues.  RE-diculous

**I have a firm testimony that God gave us many years of prosperity to get us ready for this move.  We had a good 3 months savings (and in CA that is a fair amount) with even some wiggle room.  Let's just say we don't now. :)  God prepares many things, and I think that was one of them.

3.  Schools.  There's just a lot to getting your kids in the school you want, and the right classes and all that jazz.  I don't think I was adequately prepared for ALL that schools would entail.  Being gifted, getting in the right programs.  It was a lot, and thankfully it all just kind of fell into place, but it could have gone terribly wrong. It's just not something you can find out on Great Schools...

I don't think that anyone jumps into moving lightly.  I am sure that most people understand that it will be really painful and full of heart-ache, but I don't think I really had my head around ALL that would happen in 4 months.  How much money we would lose (we also lost about 13k on our house, plus paying the realtors and inspections, etc), how it would hurt to think of California even MONTHS after the move.  All those things.

This was obviously something we were forced into.  I doubt it would've happened if we didn't have the driving force of Drew not having a job.  People who do it just based on a feeling probably have more willpower then I do.

And life goes on, even in the dessert. :)

If the other one made you cry...

Watch "Frank Mansuetto - People Can Change" on YouTube

This one will make you happy
Men are that they might have Joy.
Where do you find yours?

Good Stuff

Loved this one

Santa Clara Unified Liberation Day!

March 10th, 2011 -- I walk around the corner from bringing the kids home from school.  I'm already uber nervous because Drew is leaving on a trip to Ireland in a few hours.  He says, "I have some bad news."  My mind races about cancer, or his parents, or my parents.  No.  "Dave gave me a pink slip today, he's pretty sure he'll revoke it -- but he had to give it to me before I left."

{slack jaw}

I should say this is one of the very few years that we were NOT worried about getting a pink slip.  The district had put on their website to hire for one of the band director positions.  In fact, they had that eve after Drew got his  pink slip (but took it down within a few days).

We brushed it off.  Knew it'd get revoked... they always had in the past, hadn't they?

I sent him off to Ireland with a promise to not think about it.  We both broke that, but not by much.  He had a great trip.  I didn't have a coronary.

Mind you, he went on the trip with the school board president.  His former band booster president was the mayor.

Did they fix it?  no.

Honestly, in my heart of hearts -- way, deep down I think that if he hadn't found anything they might not have given him his final layoff notice.

But our hearts knew it was time to go within a few weeks.

And it's turned out good.

Here we are a year later.  That school district is still in a lot of trouble.  They're considering up to 10 furlough days next year, and laying off more elementary teachers.  That school district wasn't just where our job was, it was where our kids were going to school.  And if we somehow stayed on last year, we would've been chopped this year for sure.  Honestly, I think it will take SO long for California to get its act together.... I don't know when the school districts will "stabilize".  They have to pay SO much for good teachers, they really just can't afford them.  I adored our teachers in California, but I see them getting more and more stressed with less and less pay.

But I digress.... enough about how California is falling apart.  I think you're all aware....

What I am here today, to toast Santa Clara Unified Liberation day -- is that March 10th is the day that we started to live our own lives.  Prior to that I felt depressed, I saw my whole life in my tiny house laying straight out in front of me.  I was starting to figure out how we could maybe increase the size of our house.  Drew wanted to get a masters, but all the programs had nothing that he was interested in.  His school had a guy who ran ALL THREE music programs (band, orchestra and choir) and made great relationships with kids.  They just saw someone they could lay off.

He is Santa Clara Unified School District's loss.  They didn't even say thank you.

The thing is, that is the place for a lot of people to work.  It's great for them, but we were meant to come here.  It was a scary, horrible journey that was a HUGE relief to be done with.

I have so many blessings knowing that this is where we are supposed to be.  We are amazingly blessed, and I will probably do a few "a year later" posts in the coming months.  I just have to say the SCU liberation day was what started it.

So, when you get a pink slip, maybe it isn't the worst day of your life.  It could very well be the best.

We're going to celebrate with scones.  My kids love them, and we were definitely sent into the proverbial deep fryer a year ago today.

Photo Friday

Someone's getting better at remembering to haul out her camera.  Get excited. :)

Here's the quote we've had up lately.  I'm changing it today.  Hopefully finding a good quote about doing your best.  Think my kids even read these?  Don't answer that.

Here's the quote El Presidante chose to have on his classroom wall for himself.  Everyone else had someone super famous - -Michael Jackson, Wayne Gretsky... Conner chose his grandpa.  Maybe there's hope for him after all.  It IS a really good quote.

We are starting to reap the rewards of our amazing garden.  I microwaved beets, and they cooked really well and most of them liked them.  I've been roasting carrots, and most of them really like that too. 

ABC school was at our house this week.  I had the letter G.  I chose to focus on green and gold (it also just happened to be the St Patricks Day theme, how fantastic is that!?).  Anyway...

We frosted graham crackers with green frosting.  This, of course, was after me trying to tempt them with every green goodie in my produce drawer.  No takers, I finally made them eat a piece of asparagus first, because I'm like that.

We played a stop and go game.  It was very fun.  The girls mostly liked it, I think because they like being in charge.  Ring a bell, anyone?

Look at this adorable photo of P and one of her best friends, P.  They're too darn cute those two.  I think this photo kind of captures why I do this darn joyschool type-dealio.  Just really lets you see your kids blossom and have fun.  That's what being a mom is all about, right?

Finally, a little goodie from our learning lessons with just me and P.  I bought a giant bag of puffballs at Hobby LObby (or the ho-low, as I call it) and I've been loving a lot of the ideas I was getting of pintrist to use them in learning games.  This week I tried to keep it a little simple, so she put the big ones in the big bowl, and the small ones in the small bow.  She used these giant tong-things from Ikea.  She LOVED it, she would've done it another 15 minutes after I was done with it.  Go ahead, pin it. :)

Pin It

Anyway, that's our week in a nutshell.  Drew's been busy withe musical and the 12 other billion things he's got his spoon in.  I'm tolerating single parenthood, but I find myself often wishing for a sister wife.  But, then I remember the crazy layering, and I hush those thoughts.  Hope you're having a great day, and are planning on a GREAT weekend!

Poor Parenting: Wrap-Up

Here's the sad news. I think most of us have a hard time giving our best efforts all the time.  I guess I'd be happy if he gave like 90% most of the time.

Not sure how to do that.

I doubt I'll not be yelling, or still planning my life to every inch'ish.

So, what I try to remind myself is that these kids came to me for a reason.  There is something specific I can do for these 3 that other kids don't need as much of.  Which, means I am likely to be doing some things right...

Here's a few of those things, possibly...

1.  Involved.  You can't say I'm not involved in their lives.  I help in the classrooms, I work in primary, I am always around.  I try not to helicopter.  I think I am slowly getting better at that.
2.  They're hard workers.  I'm always impressed, when we are at a service project, how my kids work.  They do a great job.  At home, maybe not so much -- but they know how to get stuff done.
3.  They have an appreciation for a lot of things.  I try to delve into a lot of issues, social, humanities, humanitarian.  I talk a fair amount about the people I meet at work and the situations they get into.  Even though we, personally, don't live in those situations I think they have an understanding of how choices get you places.  I'm rambling....
4.  They know how to make a plan.  I think my kids, by watching me, really know how to plan something out -- if they get the notion to do it.

But, who would want to?

I will say that I had a REALLY gross room growing up.  It was my thing.  I didn't do drugs or get pregnant, I just had a messy room, which in the grand scheme of things isn't so bad....

So, what do you do great as a parent?  I challenge you to name 5 things on your blog.
And be sure to stay tuned for our big SCU Liberation day celebration tomorrow on Pulling Curls! :)

So darn tasty

This is so good, and SO easy.
I highly recommend!

Source: wittyinthecity.com via Hilary on Pinterest

America's Choir

Just read a GREAT article about the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

Part 1
Part 2

For anyone who's interested in music, or how a whole gigantic concert like that gets pulled off, or even just Mormons this is a great read.

It's amazing to think they go on the road with ALL those people, plus a spouse.  Really makes your mind boggle.

For those of you who don't know, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir is entirely volunteer and the participants aren't paid at all.  They are subsidized on their trips (as they should be) but there is no payment.  The man who wrote this has been in the choir for 20 years.